Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
