cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
