i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Randomize
