hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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