Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
