the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
