420 ftw
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
So squirting runs in the family.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
