I'm jealous of your bromance
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
