just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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