I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
