I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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