alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
