It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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