two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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