I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
