i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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