Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
