Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
