I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
