Is it normal to miss your booty call?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
