but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
