i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
