Whatcha textin bout Willis?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
