I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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