I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
