Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
