Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
