Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
My butt remains clenched, sir.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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