home. puking in laundry basket.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
