No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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