Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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