last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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