If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
