He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
