My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Randomize
