I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
