Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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