I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
