dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
