Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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