Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
