I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
