I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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