She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
