She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
