I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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