So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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