maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
So much rum. So many feels.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
