ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
