I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
