am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
