and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize