I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
